maybe I stopped having periods because my body finally accepted that my gender is robot and robots dont have periods
Maybe you’re pregnant
I’m an aromantic asexual who has never had sex
maybe you’ve been chosen as the vessel of the antichrist
the most likely explanation
this is my favorite goofy pun ever, I have told it at least five times
I don’t care, fuck you
as you all know, saint patrick walked barefoot as an act of contrition, which made his feet rugged and blistered. he ate an ascetic’s diet, which made him weak and additionally gave him bad breath.
all of this made him
a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
oh my god
this is the best thing i have ever read.
today i met a christian guy who tries to follow the rules of the bible really good and i asked him if he is against gays because of Leviticus 20:13 and he told me no, he doesn’t because of Matthew 7
and he added that he would never judge anybody on their beliefs or way of living because only god can judge the people
this guy man
That would be *actual* Christianity for you.
i could listen to most irish people talking for hours on end
i mean not at the same time or anything that would be terrifying but you know
[voices of 3 million irish people]
T O P O T H E M O R N I N’ T O Y A